Yelling, I sent my mount off at gallop with nothing for control or guidance—that’s right…no bridle. The tall prairie grasses whipped my calves as we raced across the sunbaked ground, as if punishing me for my recklessness. At that age I didn’t worry about the dangers that loomed. Truth is, I didn’t care. I was tasting excitement and loving it. I had adventure that is, until my grandmother stepped out onto her back porch one afternoon and witnessed my indulgence.
I never saw her look so serious as made me promise not to embark on any more adventures that were so obviously reckless and selfish. And she sealed the deal by uttering four words every child wants to hear “I won’t tell Mama.” And let’s face it, seeing my seventy-year-old, prairie skirt-wearing grandmother hurdle a three board-high fence and run toward me, arms flailing like a scarecrow in a windstorm, wasn’t a sight I wanted to see again
Now, I have different adventures as a parent. There have been times when my younger son (angry because he couldn’t get his way) has announced in Costco that I was “having fainting spell” and would “go home with anyone who had a bed.” In the same time span he asked if I planned to cook chicken for supper. Hmm…I guess the offer to be rid of me came with restrictions. And there was time that the same child announced to our grocery store’s door greeter that I planned to keep my pants on so the meat wouldn’t become rancid.
My older son is subtler. Born with my snarky sense of humor, Jonathan once dressed the family dog in my rattiest underwear and encouraged it to model the attire for company—our new neighbors, a prudish couple by the names of Tomi and Paul. The next day I found a gift card for a local boutique shoved in my mailbox. Of course Tomi, red-faced with embarrassment over the suggestion, denied doing it. But I had my doubts. A pup wearing undies with the words “Red Hot Mama” on the rump is enough to make even the most straight-laced person take action.
Yes, parenting is an adventure, sometimes containing more dangers and snares than riding a half-wild, bridleless horse, but I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
What's your most humorous adventure moment?
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